I really tried to make dating a priority in my life in 2020. It just felt like it was time—after years of being single I felt finally ready for it, but it seemed that the more that I dated, the less ready I felt.
I don’t know how to explain it, but right now, I love my life the way that it is. I feel like this may be shocking to many people, I mean, who would love being a single mom? but it’s true—I love how close my daughter and I are, I love how busy my social life is and how many close friends I have, I love living 5 minutes away from my family and getting to see them every day, I love my career, I love my church—it just feels like all in all, I’m in this sweet, content spot in my life.
It’s not perfect, I’ve obviously had some things I have had to overcome with my health and some intense recent events, but all in all, I do feel content with what I have going on.
With that said, there is this knowledge that if someone comes into my life, things will be different—and so the thought then becomes, will the differences be worth the sacrifice? Will they add to my life and mesh well with the people in it, or will it become a source of stress or discontent?
Because let’s be real, time I spend on dates and getting to know someone is time away from Sofia—there’s literally been times I’ve dropped her off before going on a date and had her start crying because she didn’t want me to leave—so for her and I both to sacrifice our time together for a bad date or dead-end situation really sucks. Especially when the other person doesn’t seem to understand or appreciate that sacrifice.
At the same time though, the only way to really know is to try, so I have no regrets, but I think in 2021, instead of being so intentional about dating and doing it the way the world says I should, I am going to let God take the front seat and lean on him to guide me to a person who is focused on Him and can be my partner on the path God has for us.
Ultimately, I don’t have the answers for what 2021 will bring for me romantically, all I know is that I will continue to pray for guidance on this issue and trust in God’s plan for Sofia and I in this area.